he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
