like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
