Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
