Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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