And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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