I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
