after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
