How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
