oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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