do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
