is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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