Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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