She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
