Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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