I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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