If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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