Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
