he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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