my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
