Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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