well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
