there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
