I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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