i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
