writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
