If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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