can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
