the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
