Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
