the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
