btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
