I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
