so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
