I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
