They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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