i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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