CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
