I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
