So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
