No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
