Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
