I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
