i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
