After last night, I could never be a politician.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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