So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
