So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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