I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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