Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
