He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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