The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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