Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
