turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
