so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
