What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
