So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
